Why am I, John Bowen (and not Allison Tripolitis nor Megan Ogar) ranking all of the Pixar Movies? Well. Five reasons:

I love a list.
I love movies.
I recently read Creativity, Inc. by former Pixar and Disney animation’s Ed Catmull (Highly recommend) so I decided to re-watch all of the Pixar movies.
I’m a BOAPDP (“Boyfriend of a Pixie Dust Pal) who for some reason did not think this was a terrible idea.
We’re in the middle of a quarantine brought on by an international pandemic. What else am I going to do?!

TIER 1: WHY DO THESE SEQUELS EXIST?!?!

#22 – Cars 2 (2011)

Pixar is at its best when its telling new, creative stories that tug at the heartstrings. Pixar is at its worst when its making unnecessary, money-grab sequels centered on supporting characters whose schtick stopped being funny somewhere around 2001. This is the worst Pixar movie.

#21 – Toy Story 4 (2019)

Toy Story 4 undid Toy Story 3’s perfect ending for what reason exactly?! I refuse to acknowledge any part of this movie (Exception: Duke Kaboom – Long Live Keanu!!) exists. I’m already mad at myself for watching (the inevitable) TS5.

#20 – Monster’s University (2013)

My issue with Monster’s University is not that they made A sequel to (the very good) Monster’s Inc. It’s that they made the wrong sequel. Monster’s Inc. ends with the Monster World realizing the energy producing powers of laughter, right? Clearly, Monster’s University should have been an animated rom-com spinoff titled: “When Harry Met Sully.” Give the people what they want.

TIER 2: JUSTIFIABLE SEQUELS AND AVERAGE ORIGINALS

#19 – Cars 3 (2017)

Movie Math: (Moneyball + Rocky IV) x Pixar = Cars 3. Cruz Ramirez is good. Armie Hammer playing a character named “Jackson Storm” is a… choice.

#18 – The Good Dinosaur (2015)

Somehow this movie would have been less sad if the asteroid in the opening scene had hit the Earth and wiped out every living creature.

#17 – A Bug’s Life (1998)

I will always remember this movie fondly. The same cannot be said of Antz. I would give my life for Heimlich, the Beautiful Butterfly.

#16 – Finding Dory (2016)

An Octopus drives a stolen truck around a roundabout while a fish with short term memory loss navigates. So basically this is an animated version of driving in Carmel, Indiana.

#15 – Brave (2012)

Brave is important. First female lead character in a Pixar Film. Important. First GINGER lead character in a Pixar Film. I-M-P-O-R-T-A-N-T.

#14 – Incredibles 2 (2018)

This is where I would like to talk about how Elastigirl aka Helen Parr is #THICC. I am far from the first person to have this thought, but I do think it’s important.

#13 – Cars (2006)

As a (relatively) big city lawyer, the idea of quitting my job and moving to run a small, picturesque town along Route 66 hits a little close to home.

TIER 3: THESE ARE GOOD

#12 – The Incredibles (2004)

I like this movie less than almost everyone I know and I’m not really sure why. Maybe I’m MCU’d out.

#11 – Monster’s Inc. (2001)

Maybe the movie that moved up the most for me on re-watch. (Which made the “sequel” all the more disappointing.) Make it gay and this movie moves into the Top Tier.

#10 – Onward (2020)

Pro Tip (SPOILER WARNING): If (1) you’re in a new(ish) relationship and you’re trying to cling to outdated notions about manliness by not crying in front of your new(ish) girlfriend; and (2) you’re the older of two brothers maybe don’t watch Onward because there’s a non-zero chance you’ll get a little misty (read: you will cry) when sweet little baby angel Tom Holland realizes that his older brother (Chris Pratt) was the father figure he was looking for all along. Other Pro Tip: It’s 2020. It’s okay to cry.

#9 – Ratatouille (2007)

I watched Cars 2. Where is RataTWOille?! I’ll see myself out. This movie is *chef’s kiss*

TIER 4: THE MOST IMPORTANT PIXAR MOVIE

#8 – Toy Story (1995)

I am ashamed at how low Toy Story is ranked. I am. It’s certainly the most important Pixar movie. But the animation is… bad. Google a picture of Sid. Then Google a picture of Mama Coco.

TIER 5: THE BEST OF THE REST

#7 – Toy Story 2 (1999)

Just a top tier adventure film. I could watch the scene of Woody being repaired on repeat. So satisfying.

#6 – Finding Nemo (2003)

RIGHTEOUS!!! RIGHTEOUS!!!!

TIER 6: THE GOATS

#5 – Toy Story 3 (2010)

The back to back of the furnace scene into Andy giving his toys to Bonnie is the perfect tonal end to Pixar’s signature franchise. I cry every time. Toy Story should have ended here.

#4 – Up (2009)

At this point, I have watched Up enough to prepare myself emotionally for the opening montage (I still tear up every time) but I was NOT prepared for either (1) Russel’s speech; or (2) Carl finding the completed Photo Album and Ellie’s note. This movie is so good. And Trips makes a HOT Kevin! ;).

#3 – Inside Out (2015)

An absolutely perfectly cast movie and maybe Pixar’s cleverest, best written film. Pixar leveled up with this one.

#2– WALL-E (2008)

Probably Pixar’s best movie, though not my favorite (and this is my list after all). The “Define Dancing” scene is perfection.

#1 – Coco (2017)

My favorite Pixar Film. My jaw physically drops every time I see the bridge to the land of the dead for the first time. Ernesto De La Cruz is the most evil villain in the Pixar Universe (Lotso from TS3 is a close second). I am an emotional wreck by the end of this movie. And on top of all that… the music absolutely slaps. Long Live Mama Coco.